NEW AND IMPROVED

NEW AND IMPROVED

I went to the repair shop to see what I could find.
Got me some new parts for a broken piece of mind.

And you my little lady are looking at
The new improved version of me, myself and I.

A brand new man, got a new Trans Am and a mansion in the sky.

Want you to know I did it all for you,
Traded in the bad for good and all the false for true.

And you, Mr. Son of a Gun
Are looking at 2011’s first born son.

Ain’t I just a beauty and ain’t I done my duty?
I got big bulging muscles on loan from the gym
And I got me a life coach, I’m back in the swim.

Ain’t I the star in this ab fab new car?

Aren’t you in the least impressed
With the imitation hair I’ve had sewn on my chest?

The splendid new head of hair, the stunning toupee?
Why, I knocked ten years off my life in the span of a single day.

Aren’t I the brilliant one, to look so fresh and young?
You could learn a thing or two from me, it’s the God’s honest truth,
How to achieve immortal life and everlasting youth.

Wipe that smirk off your old wrinkled face,
Compared to me you’re a stone cold disgrace.

My way is definitely the best way to be,
Here in the narcissistic 21st century.

I did it for your fun, Mr. Son of a Gun.
I’m hip and I’m glam in this sporty Trans Am,
Come go with me, you’ll see I’m the one.

And if you don’t like it, I’ll pluck out your eye,
‘Cause this is the new improved version of me, myself and I.

-Bruce Potts
Copyright 2011
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED