Friday, November 21, 2014

I SHOULD LIKE TO COME BACK AS A FISH

I SHOULD LIKE TO COME BACK AS A FISH

(FOR MY FRIENDS THE KARENS, WHO NAMED THEIR FISH BRUCE)

When at last my time on earth is done,
And death has beat its final drum,
My worldly affairs left torn and tattered,
My heart so beaten and so battered.

It's then I'll have some thinkin' to do,
Should I stay or should I go.
Stay in heaven as my fate,
Or start all over with a brand new slate.
To play it safe just makes me chafe,
I think I'd rather reincarnate.
And were I granted my fondest wish,
i should like to come back as a fish.

I do not say this lightly, we are speaking of my soul.
I have conditions yet that must be met,
I'm picky I suppose.
And if I am to be truly whole,
I want to come back as a happy fish,
And swim in my friend Karen's bowl.
I do not want an ocean home,
To be torn and tattered on a hook.
I want to be free to swim and roam,
Not to live like a common crook.
To be gutted by a fisherman's knife,
Why, that's no kind of amphibious life.
He would brag and boast so cavalierly
And I love my friends the Karens dearly.
I do not want to be a feckless fish,
An aquarium would be my wish.
Nothing but store bought food for me,
Not to be fed on by predators
And die ignominiously. 

I do not want to be a salmon nor a rainbow trout.
And sharks are far too menacing, to be a shark is out.
I'd rather be a goldfish, not at all fancy and not at all stylish.
And since I know enough of lungs, and since I know pollution kills,
I'd rather take my chances on a snazzy set of gills.
I am not much on maintenance, the Karens need not know I'm there,
Except of course to feed me and to fill my gills with air.
And since I'd be no longer than perhaps about an inch,
I'd need some sweet protection from the likes of Baxter Kinch.
There's something in my DNA that distrusts a basset hound,
Why, he'd mistake me for a chicken and promptly gulp me down.
Not to mention the other doggies, Sadie, Piper and Buddy,
Should they side with Baxter, that would turn the waters muddy.

And what to think of Karen's cats?
Why, I had not even thought of that,
Perhaps if I sleep and do not snore,
I will not bother Montecore.
Yet I could and would all day obsess,
On the evil eye of Princess.
Were I not afraid of the awful orgy,
Should I fall prey to the new one Georgie.

Perhaps Karen would make me smile,
And bring me home a friend named Kyle.
A friend with which to dance and swim,
I promise to share my food with him.
And my gayness it should not offend,
The Karens, such two faithful friends.
But I may sway a bit and I may swish,
If I should come back as a harmless fish.

If Kyle and I should hit it off and really get on great,
I promise to be a gentleman and quietly copulate.
Not like an unmannerly dog or a snooty, snorty hog.
A little privacy's all i ask and I'll be a model pet.
When i get sick, they needn't even bother with the vet.
They can flush me down the loo, when my days come to an end,
And know how very grateful I was to the likes of them.
Karen W and Karen K, for the rest of their livelong days,
Will know how much it meant to me to be part of their menagerie.

By that time this fish thing will be out of my head,
I'll either stay in heaven, pretending to be dead.
Or perhaps I'll ask God in his infinite grace,
To return me to the human race.
I only know that i'd be ready for a change of pace.
And even though I may end up with a slab of egg on my face.
It still would be my fondest wish, to reincarnate as a fish.

-Bruce Potts
Revised Copyright 2014
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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